Many of you reading this know that my wife Jessica and I lost our second child this past December at 15 weeks gestation. If you or someone you know had gone through this than you know losing a child (of any age) is damn hard!
It can become very easy to get stuck in the sphere of grief and lose sight of ourselves.
Pain, anger, sadness, and questioning are all to common companions during time of grief.
In that time closing off from the world and putting up walls to not let others know we are hurting can also become an all to common strategy.
I, myself, used this strategy.
If you asked me how I was doing in the days/ weeks after this I would have given an all to common response “I’m good! How are you?”
In the process of trying to support my wife and my business I did not know how to grieve around others. It became easier to just close of from my feelings and not let others know how I was actually feeling.
In the short term this was ok, but it became less than optimal the farther into my grief I got.
My protective measures ended up closing me off and shutting down one of my greatest gifts (kind of like the effects of a chronic stress response).
My ability to serve others with a loving heart!
It wasn’t until I returned to Atlanta, Ga and to a seminar that I participated in and helped facilitate as a chiropractic student that I opened back up again.
It is a gift to be able to return to this seminar to teach others an approach to adjusting and life that completely revolutionized my own life during chiropractic school.
In the act of helping others I was helped.
I was able to heal some part of me and open back up to the world.
In serving others I lost all sense of my struggles, my pain, and my grief.
I found myself back in the space of love. For myself and others!
Breakthroughs, integration, healing, and growth happen in this place. I knew this, but sometimes we need to be reminded by something or someone.
My question for you is, where have you shut down?
What part of you have you lost sight of over time and how can you tap into that again?
How can you serve someone or something other than yourself to open back up to love?
“… It denotes the fact that being human always points, and is directed, to something, or someone, other than oneself - be it a meaning to fulfill or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself - bu giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love - the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself.”
- Viktor E. Frankl
“Man’s Search for Meaning”